Off Limits for European Pizza-Lovers

Listen, you, European pizza-lovers,
you must avoid New Jersey!

If you don’t follow my advice
and find yourself in the Garden State,
in which I spent 14 years of my life,
stay away from Pizza Parlors!
Otherwise you will be fated to enjoy
their tomato and cheese delights.

Pizza is the Ambrosia of the Garden State.
And get this – there’s no soft underbelly
in the center – It’s crisp all the way around.

So better bypass New Jersey,
and if you do find yourself there,
avoid Italian restaurants and pizza parlors!
For after having ingested the spherical delights
served up in these venues, you’ll never be able
to ingest the soggy European variety again.

New Jersey, Pizza Capital of the World!

– Herbert Kuhner